YO! EXCUSE US WHILE WE ROT

Moron..er..more on the President:

In his State of the Nation Address (SONA), Digong — extraneously, from out of the blue — harped on getting the Balangiga Bells back. Blunt as a thud:

“Give us back those Balangiga bells! [applause] They are ours. [applause] They belong to the Philippines. [applause] They are part of our national heritage.” [applause]

To the uninformed, the two ding-dongs are war booties from the bygone Fil-American war era. Waaay way back at the time when P.I. stands for “Philippine Island.”

Today, p.i. are initials for putang ina. Digong’s regular excrement. A daily vile for every Pinoy household.

SONAvagun.

If this latest SONA rings a bell or anything, it is but a flashback of the opening scene of Sergio Leone’s “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” A dead ringer.

Why oh why — Direk Brillante Mendoza — do you have to maltreat us, viewers, with all those close-up shots..

When you could have played it ala Chuck Berry tread instead:

My ding a ling, my ding a ling
I want to play with my ding a ling

Nothing is more fitting now than seeing our congressmen on their feet joining in the chorus:

Oh my ding a ling, my ding a ling
I wanna play with my ding a ling

Or the sixteen million voters:

Those of you who will not sing
You must be playin’ with your own ding a ling

Or the Dutertrolls:

My ding a ling Your ding a ling, your ding a ling
We saw you playin’ with your ding a ling

In Malolos, we used to call cuckoos “may tililing.” (Smacks of my ding a ling. Only worse.) I never thought tililings would run this land. Never in grimmest nightmare.

The House Speaker. Too imbecile (as Atty. Mandy Anderson states) to know if he has tililing. But then how is it for a screwball to know he has gone nuts when his circle acts mentally the same?

Atty. Anderson, all beauty, brains and boldness, please do not let Alvarez’s arrogance and Digong’s facial pores keep you from talking about the rot of society.

And the Balangiga Bells?

SOAB. It’s simply another of Digong’s populist ploys if you don’t get it. You see, the man can perform lu’lo’ in front of his cheering fans and still get the praise of his life.

We’re done.

Manila Bay on any given Sunday. Elmer Nev Valenzuela
Manila Bay on any given Sunday. Elmer Nev Valenzuela

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